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Saturday, March 6th, 2004

Subject:survey from jess
Time:1:09 pm.
1. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others?
smile, hair, eyes

2. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president?
if she wasn't a complete idiot..anyway, women belong in the kitchen. hahahah

3. Would you marry for money?
noo

4. Have you had braces?
yeh

5. Do you pluck your eyebrows?
yeh

6. Do you ever cut or hurt yourself?
not purposely

7. When was the last time you had a hickey?
haha

8. Could you live without a computer?
yeh

9. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc..
what

10. If so, how many people are on your list(s)?
i dunno

11. If you could live in any past time period, which would it be?
the 50's

12. Do you drink enough water?
probably not

13. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?
both

14. What is your favourite fruit?
pomegranite [sp?] and apples and oranges

15. Do you eat wheat bread or white?
white

16. What is your favorite place to visit?
sns

17. What is the last movie you saw?
some of frida

18. Do you kiss on the first date?
usually..but i've only been on dates with one boy

19. Are you photogenic?
ehh

20. Do you dream in colour or black and white?
i barely remember my dreams..probably color though

21. Are you wearing fingernail polish?
yeh

22. Do you have any dimples?
yeh :/

23. Do you remember being born?
no who does?

24. Why do you take surveys?
i'm bored and i'm in a survey taking mood

25. Do you drink alcohol?
noo

26. Did you like or do you like high school?
it's ok

27. What is the most beautiful language?
german

28. When you are asleep do you like being kissed awake?
never happened, but ann loves it! hahahahha

29. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most?
sunsets

30. Do you want to live to be 100?
maybe, i wanna be one of those crazy old ladies

31. Do you think women should be expected to shave their body hair?
eww, god no

32. Do you like salty food or sugary food the most?
salty usually

33. Is a flat stomach important to you?
don't remind me

34. Do you or have you played with a ouija board?
yeh

35. Are you loyal?
i'd say so

36. Are you tolerant of other people's beliefs?
sometimes

37. When you watch movies at home, do you like the lights on or off?
usually on because otherwise i get sleepy

38. Do you believe in magic?
not really, but the craft is REALLY believable

39. Do you have nightmares frequently?
no

40. Do you like your nose?
i don't really care

41. Do you like abstract art?
yeh

42. Do you think you can draw well?
ahhhhhhhhhh

43. Do you listen to music daily?
yeh

44. Do you like to watch cartoons?
some

45. At what age did you find out that Santa Claus wasn't real?
i can't member, but i still WANT to believe he's real, even though he's not.

46. How many pairs of shoes do have in your closet?
not a lot, maybe 5 or 6..and they're not all mine

47. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety?
i only have 2 pairs i wear

48. Do you write poetry?
when i'm in the mood

49. Do you snore?
yehh

50. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides?
sides

51. Would you rather have a poodle or a rottweiler?
rottweiler, but their mean and poodles are ugly

52. Do you lick stamps?
yeh..how else do you close envelopes?

53. Do you use an electric can opener?
no, lazy fucking people

54. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon?
no, but that would be so cool

55. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?
it depends..probably emotional because physical tends to go away easier.

56. Do you think balding men should shave their heads?
if they have a good head

57. Do you know anyone who is clinically depressed?
no

58. Do you prefer a piano or a violin?
piano..mm ben folds<3

59. Are you a sex addict?
i hope not..ee

60. Do you know someone who has cancer?
yeh, but i don't really talk to her

61. Do you hunt?
haha no

62. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants?
both, but todai and benihana are awesome

63. Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?
art museum..zoos suck

64. Do you have a middle name?
kathleen

65. Are you basically a happy person?
usually

66. Are you tired?
little bit

67. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?
no, just ginger ale

68. Have you ever met anyone off the internet?
naww

69. How many phones do you have in your house?
like 3

70. How long is your hair?
almost past my shoulders..kinda

71. Do you get along with your parents?
my mom yeh, i don't even talk to my dad

72. What colour of eyes do you prefer?
brown

73. Are you an active person?
sort of

74. What medications do you take?
none
Comments: 3 needles - in the hay.

Subject:survey from amy
Time:12:57 pm.
- last thinqs.
[last word you said] i can't remember..that's not what i said, i really can't remember.
[last sonq you sanq] "needle in the hay" by elliott smith
[last thinq you lauqhed at] "the only thing you support is your feet when your in your lazy boy"
[last time you said 'i love you'] i can't remember
[last time you cried] haha, yesterday

- present.
[what color socks are you wearinq] i'm not wearing any
[current annoyance] figuring out how to sneak a camera into the metro
[current book] the virgin suicides..still
[ current favorite article of clothinq] green and white skirt
[favorite place to be] johnson's house, sns
[least favorite place] usually home
[stronq in mind or stronq in body] mind
[time you wake up in the morninq] 6-620
[favorite color] pink, blue, green..i dunno, there's so many!
[do you believe in an afterlife] naw
[how tall are you] 5'5 i think
[current favorite words/sayinqs] "abso-fuckin-lutely," but i never say it. i think i'll start to.
[favorite season] summer
[one person you wish was here riqht now] no one
[favorite day] friday/saturday

- past.
[kinderqarten teacher's name] mrs. keifer
[1st qrade teacher's name] mrs. jagielo
[2nd qrade teacher's name] ms. richards
[3rd qrade teacher's name] mrs. porter
[4th qrade teacher's name] ms. back
[5th qrade teacher's name] mrs. yaeger
[6th qrade teacher's name] engelkens/wolf/youtsey
[7th qrade teacher's name] bielat/kainu hahahahha/davis

- present.
[in cd player] mewithoutyou
[on feet] REALLY smelly shoes
[under bed] my bed consists of a mattress on my floor.
[what time you qot up] 1013
[time it is now] 103

- future.
[you want to qrow up to] lots of friends, love, a couple not serious jobs.
[ideal job] cheesecake factory? who knows
[you want to live] the city..god
[number of children you want] don't know
[kind of car] ford focus..they're SOOO cheap!

- current.
[mood] weird..really fucking happy and excited
[music] charlie brown's christmas song
[taste] bagel and chive cream cheese
[hair] down
[attire] black shirt, fall out boy shirt and sxe sweater
[desktop imaqe] mewithoutyou..mm<3
[favorite music artist] as of right now, mewithoutyou, elliott smith, the get up kids, jimmy eat world
[finqernail color] dark maroon
[crush] adam<3
[time-wastinq wish] having to not worry about my future..goddd
[hate] being moody
Comments: in the hay.

Tuesday, January 13th, 2004

Subject:feliz cumpleanosssssss............
Time:3:31 pm.
HAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPYHAPPY BIRTHDAY AMY!!!!!!!!!!

well now that i have THAT out of my system, i love you!!!!!! i hope you have a really really great birthday..and i hope matt does something that blows you away!!!!!! ME LOVES YOUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!!!!!! we're hanging out this week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fo shoooooooooooooooooooooo! <33333
Comments: 5 needles - in the hay.

Monday, January 5th, 2004

Subject:sledding equals orgasmic
Time:4:25 pm.
Mood:lovely [not physically].
i got my bens ep! it's good, although there are only 4 songs..yeh, i dig the acoustic.

sledding tonight! man, it's gonna kick my fuckin ass! i'm excited and amy is going..mmmm awesome!!

+no homework

+braces come off soon

+sledding!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

+winter break's done..which means closer to spring
break..which means closer to summer break! :D

+goin out with the ann-mister [not gf style, ya know]


-not talking to adam in awhile..

^ oh look, that's the only negative thing.

loove.
Comments: in the hay.

Friday, January 2nd, 2004

Subject:make it a note to take your time
Time:1:46 pm.
Mood: groggy.
yesterday was funnnnnn! new year's was awesome, stayed up til 9, talked with everyone.....we visited amy for a total of like 10 minutes, but it was still really nice to see her! it was the shiiiiat. alvarez, adam and rick ended up coming to kara's for a little bit. mm, nice to see him<3. then me, ann and kara went to woodfield. spent like ALL of my money, but that's ok. i think i deserve to splurge once in awhile. got some cute ass shit! then ann and i picked up amy! we went to border's where ann bought a random cd..and it sucked..haha, but at least they can play their instruments! kinda..yeh. haaaa. then we went to sns and i said hi to lisa! man, i love her! best waitress ever. haa. amy thought phil was russian......man, that was funny ass shit. i love you amy!!! eeeeee!

and today i woke up at like noon and i had to wash the damn floor. AND i cleaned the kitchen..for 10 bucks!! what..the..hell? the floor took like 45 minutes to do..mmmmm, not to mention i was told i'd be paid 20! gahh, whatevaaaaa.

haha, TOTALLY bullshitting my notes. kara, i'm almost done w/ ch. 27..hahah, 2 things from each page..wow, i'm a slacker. me no care!

me loves my friends!!!!!!!!!! [ann, kara, amy, molly, mary, jess, jen, sarah and melissa]!
Comments: 4 needles - in the hay.

Thursday, December 25th, 2003

Subject:you're my favorite thing about the west coast
Time:8:25 pm.
Mood: drained.
merry christmas, you mother fuckers!!

man o man do i love break! it's been heaven, but all i can do is worry about school and all my god forsaken homework.

my christmas has been pretty good. i went to my aunt's, then slept at my dad's. i received mostly money and that's pretty good. now i have money for downtown on tuesday!! everyone is going right? including the johnsons, sarah, melissa and amy of course, hehehe..you guys better fuckin be in. mmmmmm, how bout a sleepover too?? sounds yummaaaay.

we had our secret santa party and it was reallllll fun. slept at my aunt's house and watched spice world and zoolander, but me fell asleep after spice world. i think i'm going to my aunt's house tonight to sleep over, but mary and chris aren't back yet..hmmmmmmmmmm.

kara, molly and i rolled down that big ass hill with buckets. mmm, it was muy fun!! and what the fuck is up with it not snowing?? it fucking melted like right away! mmmmmmmmm i wanna sled. i need a fix..

have a good fuckin christmas!
Comments: 2 needles - in the hay.

Sunday, December 21st, 2003

Subject:when you're on, i swear you're on
Time:2:30 am.
Mood: relieved.
haven't been writing much so here goes:

+saw LOTR3. soo fucking amazing, lots of tears.
+got out of school and break has officially begun.
+coffee house.
+learned how to play mexican.
+finished shopping :D.
+work party.
+steak n shake.
+saw adam..hmm<333
+met rick, adam's friend, who was SUPER nice.
+fixed stuff with kara..mm relief.
+ate in front of adam and it was NO big deal. ahhh.

-lotta homework over break :(.
-haven't talked to amy in FOREVER.
-school is gonna come back to haunt me..i know it will..

our secret santa party is tomorrow and i can't wait! it's gonna be so fun. and we're goin downtown soon and mm, that's great. i'll have money and i'll buy all my cute clothes from target!! yum, bliss.

i love everyone and have a GREAT kwanza!
Comments: 3 needles - in the hay.

Sunday, December 14th, 2003

Subject:hot damn
Time:11:38 pm.
Mood: sick.
i got a new sn:

white gurrrrl and a new email address: whitegrrl@hotmail.com. i think that's what it is..hahaha.

i don't write on here too much because i gots a xanga now sooooooooo later masturbators.

<33
Comments: in the hay.

Monday, December 8th, 2003

Subject:fuck it.
Time:5:34 pm.
i got a xanga.

as_days_fade
Comments: in the hay.

Subject:you ripped my heart right out, you ripped my heart right out
Time:4:35 pm.
Mood: melancholy.
ann, i'm in LOVE with that song. what's it called again?? ::hint hint to everyone: christmas present!!:: mmmm, jimmy eat world.

today was absolutely horrible. it was just a shitty day. and kara wasn't in history and it made it THAT much worse. sigh. i didn't get too much homework though. i know when i get like this it can only mean one thing: my period is coming. thank god it's only one time a month. i can't help but get scared that maybe i'll be this way forever and ever and i'll lose all my friends and die alone..but again, it's just the period talking.

i dropped off my hackney's application today with ann and i really really REALLY hope i get the damn job. i just really need it and i think that maybe i feel a little overwhelmed with school sometimes and that maybe it'd be better if i worked on weekdays? i dunno, i know it doesn't make sense, but i think i'd be happier working more. having a few more things on my mind maybe would help? once again, i'm an idiot.

the weekend kicked ass, i don't want it to be over. it was seriously like the perfect combination: friday i got to hang out with adam, then saturday i had work and saw all the seniors, which was nice, then i got to hang out with amy, then went to jess and jen's, then sunday job hunted. it was just nice and i got lost amongst the perfect weekend world. and now, now i'm back in hell. and it sucks. until friday..

i miss adam. i don't really even care anymore about you fucks who are all "god, all she talks about is adam". but i really miss him and i wanna call him. and i think next time i see him i'll just be soo happy and RIGHT when he walks up to the door, i'm gonna give him a nice big hug. and i don't care what you people think, i don't think he's ugly. i think you shallow people are uglier than everyone else. and i think adam's cute. and i don't think you need to have a perfect fucking body and a perfect fucking face to be considered cute.

and i think some of the people who i consider to be mean and shallow, i'm just kind of done with them. at least one person for sure, and the other person, i don't know because i know they don't like me anymore and their embarrassed to be my friend. and i think if we continued to have a friendship, they'd just make me feel even more horrible about myself, and i think i'm sick of feeling shitty. i don't HAVE to deal with it, and now they don't either. i'm even sad about it. i'm really fucking sad about it, especially that we were really close before, and they can't fucking look past anything to just be my friend. i laugh loud; i get fucking yelled at, no more im's, no more anything. it's just fucking done and i know their fucking happy about it too.

and i know molly was upset today and molly, i don't think you're stupid. AT ALL. i hope you feel better about everything because when you're sad, i am. i looooooove you.

and i love all my other friends too. you know, the ones that actually like me for me. thank you for not being embarrassed of me, and not making me feel like a shitty person.

school gets out in 9 days and I CANNOT FUCKING WAIT. next tuesday is the alumni coffee house and i'm so psyched. ahhhh, like i can't fucking wait til it comes.

i'm sorry for bitching everyone. wait, no i'm not.
Comments: 7 needles - in the hay.

Saturday, December 6th, 2003

Subject:merry christmas, i could care less
Time:11:50 pm.
Mood: sleepy.
today was fun as hell. we worked and keath called us "dumb bitches." i dunno, when people say shit like that to me, especially boys, i kinda don't know what to say. i hate when boys call me a bitch. ewww. oh well.

then ann called me up and we picked up kara, molly and amy and went to pj's trick shop and then randhurst. it was nice to hang out with amy again! aww, amy you're cool and fuckin hott!!! then we went to kara's and ate pizza and just kinda chilled and then started watching pirates of the caribbean. then ann drove me home because we were both tired and here i am now. hmmm, but i'm not that tired anymore..at least, i know i couldn't fall asleep if i tried.

i found out someone said something about me that really kinda pissed me off a lot. i HATE HATE HATE shallow people. i HATE them. their the worst kind of people, or at least in my opinion. i also hate when people fucking talk about shit that doesn't have anything to do with them. whateverrr, i didn't really talk to her a lot to begin with, but i don't know if i wanna talk to her at all.

and i'm glad that my friends really really understand me and they don't bullshit me. and i'm also glad that i have all of them because i love them SO fucking much it hurts.

yesterday i hung out with adam. it was nice to see him because it was the first time in like 5 days. jeez, sometimes i miss him like a lot and i can't get the guts to call him and i kinda hate myself for that! hahahah. but yeh, we went to hackney's and i didn't eat. no wayy, i wouldda felt gross. i dunno, don't ask.

ps

jes makes fuckin good ass egg nog milk shakes...shit.
Comments: 4 needles - in the hay.

Monday, December 1st, 2003

Subject:high as the sky, you seemed so safe
Time:7:46 pm.
Mood: sad.
today was alrite. i can barely open my mouth..ahh, i'm such a freak. and it hurts sooo bad. i can't wait til i get this fucking shit out of my mouth. but at least i missed spanish. hahah.

i got in yet ANOTHER fight with alvarez. ahhh. i think maybe the way he saw it was that i was being a bitch, but i really didn't wanna make it seem like that. he brought up the whole me talking shit to adam or whatever and i told him he always blows things way out of proportion. seriously, why would i talk shit about him?! yeh, it was pretty bad, adam was on the phone and alvarez and i just started yelling at eachother. godddddddddddddd, what the fuck, sometimes i feel like i'm talking to a wall because he won't like even TRY to understand me. i fucking HATE fighting with him, it's the absolute worst, but i don't know why he thinks i'm such a fucking bitch that i'd talk shit about him like that..i wouldn't. and i hate awkward situations, but now my home life will become just that..ewwwww, i hate it.

i need to find a motha fuckin job. i'm thinking about target, but i dunno because i'm not down for staying there until like 1130 or midnight on school nights..i'll be fuckin dead. i dunno, i'm fucked if i don't find one soon. hmm.

today in gym i kept making fun of mormans. sorry to any of you who are really mormans, don't read this if you are. molly said how they like have big families because when they die they think their gonna live on a planet with them or something..ok, that's just fucking scary! and i don't mean to be a bitch, but damnnnnn, the whole religion seems like a huge joke. i'm gonna look stuff up online, this shit is fucking insane.

i'm lonely, ahh. like really lonely. make it stop.

i'm outtt.
Comments: 6 needles - in the hay.

Sunday, November 30th, 2003

Subject:i'm a motha fuckin P-I-M-P
Time:10:59 pm.
Mood: worried.
last night was off the hooook. ann, molly and i went to randhurst, ate at chili's, went to best buy, picked up mike and went to bg theaters and saw freaky friday. hahaha. ahh, those hot topic grrls are great. they really are.

then today mary and i went to the library and then to family video and rented 'one hour photo'. got all creeped out by that. haha, pretty good movie though.

then adammmm called and he came over. it was nice to not leave because every time he comes over we seem to just go out. ahahha, he made me laugh a lot like usual and that's all awesome about it..umm, yeh i was urgin the entire time...so i went to say bye to him and we were in his car and lisa saw us kissing..jesus christ. she's such an idiot. he touched my knee cap and said it was cold and she saw him and told him "to stop hitting on my sister. i don't want her impregnated at 16." which made us laugh a lot, but not when she's a big creep and she stalked us. hahaha.

finished my homework a little bit ago..kinda half assed it. don't member ANY algebra from last year..ahh well. i get to miss block a tomorrow. ahh, that's fuckin heaven. hopefully this metal comes outta my boca soon..hmmmmmmmm.

i'm outttttttttt.
Comments: in the hay.

Friday, November 28th, 2003

Subject:the carpenters, fuckin hardcore BITCH!
Time:1:31 pm.
Mood: giddy.
i woke up today at 730 from mary and sarah..pshhhhh. then again at 930. wayyyyyy too early. so i got up and ate, showered and got ready. then chris and i went to the bank and arby's. i keep telling him i hope he gets in an accident because he doesn't have insurance on the car..hahahah, i hope i don't jinx him for seriously. eeeeeeek.

it's so sad that i'm still hungry after eating..ahhhhh, i'll just pretend that i'm all full. it makes me feel skinnier. haha.

HAPPY MOTHA FUCKING BIRTHDAY MOLLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU SOOO MUCH AND YOU'RE GETTING ALL FUCKING MATURE AND SHIT..ACTUALLY, NO YOU'RE REALLY NOT, BUT THAT'S A GOOD THING!! I'M GONNA GIVE YOU 16 THRUSTS FOR GOOD LUCK. HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE<3333333333333333333.

to drive without a license and insurance, or not....hmmm, what's the verdict ann? JUST DO IT!! hehehhehhee.

i'm off bitches.
Comments: 2 needles - in the hay.

Thursday, November 27th, 2003

Subject:when i move you move, just like that
Time:9:10 pm.
Mood: bored.
happy thanksgiving day everyone. mine was pretty good, i guess all i'm concerned about is the food so..ahhaha. i just finished watching edward scissorhands. i love love love that movie. now i'm kinda sleepy because i was laying in my bed and i feel all chill now. ahhhh. ummm, i like to think about nice things. yeh, i do. my uncle's sort of an asshole. yeh, yeh, i know he jokes around A LOT, but he's so fucking rude sometimes. i just wanted to sit there and badmouth his fucking wife, but i didn't.

the food was sooo good today. hmmm, i'm hungry again too. mmm, now we get to have leftovers for like a week. yum. i wrapped molly's presents a little bit ago. hehe, i hope she likes them. only 2 hours and 45 more minutes grrl!! and only one day and 2 hours and 45 minutes til you drive!!!!!!!! yay!!

i guess that's it for right now. oh yeh, i'm in a huge mood to watch nightmare before christmas. i'm in a tim burton mood tonight i think. hahahah.

i'm outz. [fuckin ghetto].
Comments: 2 needles - in the hay.

Wednesday, November 26th, 2003

Subject:i love this fucking song!
Time:5:50 pm.
Mood: groggy.
i'm still online so i decided to update again. seeing as how i have nothing else to do.

i was reading someone's journal and it really got me mad. jesus, these people think they start all these fucking trends, it's so stupid. like wearing a fucking sock on your hand..cute. or wearing a lot of bracelets. cmon, like you're REALLY the first one to wear a lot of bracelets. and you're not "weird" because of it either. is that bitchy? i don't know, it's just annoying how some people who are in HIGH SCHOOL are all, "ew, that grrl is a prep." or "i don't like her because she wears american eagle." for seriously, it's bullshit and that's so middle school, grrls. i love grrls that think their better than other grrls because their not as "materialistic". wow, their stupid. give it a fucking rest.

other than that, i'm okay. haha. i'm washing my clothes. after my mom got mad about it of course..jesus christ! i love when she's like that..really, i do!

lisa is watching UPN and i remember mary, chris, lisa, ashley, kelly, my dad and i going to chicago and being asked to be in one of their commercials. we all had to form a "u" with our hands and say, "U's got it!" and we all kept looking out for it, but we never saw it. i think i'd like to see it. it'd be weird because that happened like 6 years ago.

thanksgiving is tomorrow..i guess i'm looking forward to that. my cousin's boyfriend is going and that's kinda weird. i always feel awkward when "strangers" come to my grandma's house. there's always those silent moments when you'd rather kill yourself than live through that shit. at least there's no school.

i have stuff on my mind. i'm really not sure what, if that makes sense, but i hate it. i hate thinking ahhhhh. fuck it.

catch you on the flip syde.

[now THAT was ghetto].
Comments: 1 needle - in the hay.

Subject:i like when things annoy me. no, i really do.
Time:4:45 pm.
Mood: irritated.
school was alrite today. at least we're on vacation now though. as much as i'm happy about that, i keep thinking about how fast it's gonna go by and how much that will suck. ahh. history was really really fun today. competitive pictionary, bitches. wow, it was heaven, hahah. i don't have that much homework, which is awesome. i did extra credit for history and geometry and i have to finish spanish and this stupid sheet for geometry. whatever, i'll do that sunday.

i'm so fuckin paranoid it scares me. every time something good happens to me i think it's gonna disappear for no apparent reason. i don't even have a reason to be scared, but i still am. and i miss him a lot. it sucks we live far from eachother. ::sigh:: i kinda wanna tell him how i feel about him and stuff so he knows i care. i dunno, i'm an idiot. i'm just scared to lose him.

and i dunno why i get so annoyed with my mom. it's so fucking much. i've been waiting for like 2 hours to wash my stupid clothes and she keeps throwing fucking clothes in there. i'm like, "can i wash my clothes now." and she's like, "no." and i'm like, "why." and she's like, "because i have a lot of loads to do." and i'm like [in the calmest voice possible], "this really makes me mad." goddddd. i kinda went off on her today too. i told her it seems like every time i try to joke around with either her or somebody else she has to fucking say something. and i was getting soo fuckin mad and she just like walked away. god damnit and i know she knows i'm right, that's why she can't fucking say shit to me. ahhhh whatever. sorry i'm just getting really annoyed by shit lately.

i guess i'm off.
Comments: 8 needles - in the hay.

Monday, November 24th, 2003

Subject:like a bed of roses there's a dozen reasons in this gun
Time:7:10 pm.
Mood: horny.
potato salad equals love; as does seeing adam..but not for little time. pooooop.

i really do think i'm hornier than a 12-year-old boy. i don't know what's wrong with me. we need a doctor over here. umm, i'm also kinda thinking adam is repulsed by me...errr, i wish he'd make a move! damn!

i feel all cloud 9 style. i love it. ahh, do i love it. wowza. :D

<3333333
Comments: 2 needles - in the hay.

Subject:i want a man, not a boy who thinks he can
Time:3:38 pm.
:love equals:

the spice girls
chocolate frozen yogurt
brown boys
friends
kisses [um bonerrr]
adam
nice big hugs
snapple lemon iced tea
cookies from school
no homework
not being in a fight with alvarez anymore
driving to michigan [hopefully]

:non-love equals:
being kicked by big brother
[big bruises slash hurting]
mouth cuts from braces
being called "emo sugar" by 3 mean boys
not being able to stick up for myself..:sigh:
creepy stalkers
brain freezes
aerobics
boob sweat [eww..goes hand-in-hand with aerobics]

don't ask me why. i was bored. i want to personally apologize to all who have read my livejournal in the last 19 hours or so..i dunno what happened. i just don't know! ok, so lay off BITCHES!

today was an OK day, for a monday. molly wasn't there and neither was alvarez. :bows head: therefore, school wasn't as fun. i've come to the conclusion that i can't stand up for myself for shit..that really sucks. on the contrary to popular belief, i'm really not a bitch afterall.it's not even just that it pisses me off, but it's seriously like embarrassing. especially when your friends are standing there and all these other people. and i don't wanna sound like a mother, but some people seriously don't have respect for people. when i get in moods like this, i wanna talk to adam. he really makes me feel better in a snap. ahh :(. yeh, definitley makes me happy. mmmmm.

msi is playing wednesday and thursday. pooooo. oh well, maybe next time. it will be next time, i promise you that!!

ok, good mood now. can you guess why? guess, i FUCKING dare you to! go!!!!!!

i'm off like a motha fuckin dirty shirt!

[nobody can hold me down..oh no. i got ta keep on movin].
Comments: 6 needles - in the hay.

Sunday, November 23rd, 2003

Subject:i thought it classic
Time:11:01 pm.
amy and ann you grrls clear off i got it from here. i wish we weren't so hot. wait..what?! of course i do. it really sucks being admired soo much. i love it. do you

i'm not emo. for seriously, i'm not. oi oi oi with your crazy punk music. with their crazy music and the mohawks and the suspenders. he's so punk amy tell him to get a mohawk and tight tight tight pants and nazi boots he's so punk..

i love it. no i don't. i really, really don't. i'm not sugar either. don't do that to me.
Comments: 6 needles - in the hay.

LiveJournal for you ought to be proud that i'm getting good marks..

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